When America Tries to Think
by iEATglaresforBREAKFAST
Summary: First fanfic, i suck at summaries so read if you want to know USxUK
1. Plotting And TV

**Wow, this will officially be my first fanfic, so I apologize in advance for any major mess-ups! I'm going to try to keep these short for people like me who only skim these. OHH aaaannnd this is a yaoi pairing, as in GUYxGUY. Don't like don't read. Well without further ado... On with the story!**

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><p>America was plotting, no that sounds creepy and France-ish. No, America was planning, that sounds better(to him at least). You see England had been acting <em>weird<em>, and he wasn't paying enough attention to America.

America not liking the thought of his Iggy ignoring him, yea you heard right _his Iggy_, was going to find a way to get his attention again.

It was probably pretty hard to tell (keep telling yourself that and you might believe it) but, America liked England, like, like-liked England. But as unherioc as it may be, America was _way _to afraid to tell him, and settled for just being his friend. _'He's probably straight anyways,'_ he'd tell himself, _'even if he DID swing that way, he'd probably like France more then me...'_ He got kinda sad at that but then he'd be like _'BUT IMMA HERO, if Iggy's happy then I am too!'_

But I digress, America was going to try to figure out what was up with Iggy, AND get his attention while he was at it!

Sadly for him though his plans never did go to well, especially when he really tried to think them through, all he did was get England mad and have to be lectured for half an hour by the grumpy Brit, and that would only accomplish one part of his plan.

He wasn't coming up with much and America thought that just going up to England and saying, "Hey, whassup, you've been acting funny, and I was worried.", wouldn't work seeing as England, being the smart man he is, would figure out how America felt, and that would be bad.

After hours upon hours of thinking and coming up with blanks, America decided to take a break and watch T.V. While eating brain food, which just happened to be, cheeseburgers.

Flipping through all sorts of channels he settled on a new music channel, which was, apparently having a marathon for "Your Favorite Martian Music". America wondered if his friend Tony listened to this and marked it down in his book of things to ask people.

The song he came in on ended and the announcer went on to talk about the next song, " This next one is a bit...stereotypical...I give you the 'Stereotype Song'!"

America fell asleep sometime throughout the song, dreaming about burgers, martians, and, of course, Iggy.

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><p>Good? Bad? Don't Care? Let me know... or don't it's o.k.!<p> 


	2. Dreaming and Meetings

**HEY! Yep that right, yet another marvelous, yet ridiculously short, chappie! Ohh...shame on me for forgetting this but . Don't want to say it... ...**

**There disclaimer taken care of moving on!**

"_Hey England!" America was energetic, practically bouncing of walls. He was going to take action and that action would be positive in some way!_

_First step...get Iggy's attention, easier said then done..._

"_Iggy! ? BRITIAN!Iggggyyy, come on a wont leave until you listen to meeeee!"_

_England's massively massive eyebrow twitched in what might be annoyance...Which meant a little more persistence and then on to step two! "Iggy Iggy IG-"_

"_What in the bloody hell do you want?" England yelled,wow was it just him or was Iggy more cranky these days?_

_Well then, step two "I think I looove you more then the Japanese love tentacle po-" here England stopped him _(by smacking upside the head of course)_. But that didn't stop America did it? No, "-rn and we should dance! Dance! D-d-d," Here America started jumping in what seemed to be an almost jump rope-like motion,'Dance to the stereotypes!"_

_Again England interrupted him demanding to know where he heard that "rubbish" and why he was bothering him with it. _

"_Iggy you didn't let me get to the best part yet!" America pouted, knowing that no one could say no to his puppy face. England fortunately for America was not an exception to the rule and caved._

"_Fine, but leave me be once it is finished." England sighed as America started up again._

"_Ohh yea let mee hear you yell if you love the outback redneck Australia or the crooked ass teeth of an english dude and-"_

"_WANKER! I don't have crooked teeth!" England was seething, you could practically see the smoke billowing from his ears._

"_Never said you did dude." America despite Iggy's outburst was calm, almost unnaturally so._

"_But you implied it you wanker! Don't imply things you don't mean." England reprimanded._

"_But I meant some of it Iggy..." Now America was pouting again._

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Asks England, confused now_

_._

_'For such a smart country he sure can be dense.'_ (wonderful thought there Am.)

"_Think about it Iggy, I think I love you more then the japenese love tentacle-"_

"_I GET IT git,OK actually I don't, care to explain?" America would have face palmed but that was Iggy's thing._

"_It means that...YOU!" The last three words came out in a rush, England looked even more confused, then realization struck, sunk in and, did a little dance in his head which amounted up to a blush._

"_A-America? I...em...how do I say this...I.."_

Then he woke up. The dream had been a strange one, seeing as it showed his plan in action, and said plan didn't go to well then, but maybe it would work out anyways? He could hope, seeing as the dream was a total backfire. The point was to annoy Iggy with the song, until he got really pissed and dragged America of to scold him. That was the get Iggy's attention part, after being dragged of by a steaming England, he would then use his heroic charm to get England to spill whatever it was that was bugging him!

Today there would be yet ANOTHER world meeting, god how many did they have to go to? Oh well at least it worked out in his favor. Too bad that they took forever to get through and America was starting to seriously question whether her should go through with it or not, if it messed up like it did in his dream then England might not talk to him. That's a _bad_ thing.

AND todays meeting would be on econasomethingorother he wasn't really paying attention. To his credit, he did try but his gaze would always migrate to England (who happened to look as bored as America felt, and you know it's boring when that happens).

Eventually the meeting was called to a close, mainly because France kept flirting with Canada, and Italy-wait FRANCE FLIRTING, WITH CANADA? If America wasn't dealing with catching up to England he would've smacked the frog.

Speaking of aforementioned Brit. England was already out the door and gone who knows where, so America tried to think of places he might go, _'Let's see if I was a cranky old Brit where would I be?'_

His thought process would be cut-off by a very familiar voice ahead.

"-friends at once how wonderful!" England's voice _'Who's he talking to? What friends? Why does he_ _sound happier?'_ America decided to just act as if he didn't hear anything and, walked around the corner.

"Hey England, wha-?" OK yea, that wasn't what he'd been expecting. England was standing the talking and hugging, and _petting_ the air.

America decided it would probably be best to come back later.

**YAY! 'nother chappie done! Feedback is appreciated! I'll try to get more chapters in soon, this shouldn't be to long of a story (I'm writing it in the like 2 free minutes I have at school sooo yea)**


	3. Change of Plan!

**Yep! I'm updating! For some reason or an other words got cut off of the last 2 chapters... IDK why...but anyways my last disclaimer was cut off and sadly I must say it again... I don not own hetalia or it's characters...**

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><p>That whole business with England and his..."friends"... Well it kinda threw our American hero off, if just by a bit.<p>

Former plan now forgotten, America thought up a new one. This one was much more simple then the last, and was sure to get some result. He would shout something random at the next world meeting, something funny, abnormal!

_'What am I gonna say though?' _In all honesty it would probably take a while to think of...

_'Well, TO THE T.V.!' _Quickly after that thought he realized T.V. Would have to wait, his boss was going to chew him out, something about illegal immigrant problems, _'Wait a minute, that's not even my_ _job!'_

America sometimes wondered about his peoples sanity.

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><p><strong>Yea really short I know, but I was sorta stuck and couldn't think of a plan, or anything really, but then I saw this video about some dude just randomly shouting "I JUST HAD SEXX" and figured 'Hey! What if America shouted something like that?' yea well I'm not sure what it is he should say... feel free to suggest something. Free scones to those who don't review!<strong>


	4. Visa Versa

**YAY FOR RANDOMNESS! Finally thought of something while watching England and Russia punch and poke Germany… I am so weird…**

**I do not, I repeat DO NOT, own Hetalia… If I did I would be the happiest girl alive!**

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><p>America figured that it was to unherioc to not tell England, and as for his plan to shout something…well we'll say he just improved his plan.<p>

The way he looked at it, only two things could really happen, either England would totally ignore him forever, or he would feel the same and they could get married, or whatever, it was that two male countries did…

This is why America was wolfing down cheeseburgers and fries at a much more alarming rate. There was a world meeting in approximately one hour, wait make that 56 minutes and 15 seconds, not that he was keeping track… Really he wasn't! (yea right)

He would be late to the meeting, which surprisingly, was actually quite rare (It was unheroic to be late). He would then burst in and, well, go on with his plan. Easier said then done, confessing his love, no matter how humorous he may be about it, in front of a bunch of nations would be really hard no matter how awesome he is! (Starting to sound like Prussia there America…)

Somehow the hour flitted by, much faster then he would have liked, and America casually started towards the meeting center.

About ten minutes later he was outside the door and he could hear the bickering coming from inside, 'Well here goes nothing'. America took a deep breath and burst in the room, but instead of the usual "THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!" the occupants of the room were greeted with, "Hey England… lets kick it! _Cops without guns and the NME, Should_ _I watch the BBC or should I watch the BBC?_"

"What do you think you're doing America you're lat-" but before Germany could get another word out America just continued where he left of adding dance moves in while making his way towards England.

"_Look at these crazy coins, is this Lord of the Rings? Pounds and pence and Princes and Queens_" England looked like he was about to say something along the lines of "Shut-up wanker, my currency is better anyways." But he seemed to bite it back, for the time being seeing, as if he did say it, no one would hear him over the Americans obnoxious singing.

"_Flipside experience, well not really.  
>More familiar than Russia or Chile.<br>Up for cricket or squash, or the London zoo?  
>Look, you hate George Bush and we do too.<br>Fab music scene, though, UK bands are ace,  
>And you guys are the most polite of the human race<em>"

England was starting to look like one of Spains tomatoes…

And France was looking smug, as if he_ knew_ what was coming.

"_Fish and chips, crumpets, bangers and mash,  
>Shakespeare, Donne, Sid Vicious and the Clash.<br>You love our movies, we kind of like yours.  
>We love the way you talk, "please help us in these wars."<br>You stopped staying "fab," we stopped saying "groovy,"  
>Our Scotland is Canada; you saw the South Park movie.<em>"

Canada looked up… he had seen the South Park movie, he didn't really like it but was flattered that they actually REMEMBERED him. Meanwhile England was shocked that America even knew who Shakespeare was, let alone all those others, but his accent when he said "please help us in these wars," was horrible.

"_I love England and visa versa,  
>American perspective in these Visa verses.<br>Tea time? Jolly good! Caffeine rush.  
>Look, a red a phone booth and a double-decker bus.<em>"

England got even redder at the "I Love England" part, he didn't get the part about the phone booth or the buses…

"_I love you England,_" There he went again with the L word, England got even _redder_.

" _so let's both ignore  
>The Boston Tea Party, and that silly East Coast war.<br>Oxford, London, and Guildford too,  
>Rockin' your P.A.'s when I come to visit you.<em>"

Asking England to forget the Boston Tea Party, probably not going to happen, all that poor tea, killed, oh the horror…

"_The Florida incident? Democracy at work,  
>But we've still got love for your boy Edmund Burke.<br>If it weren't for us, you'd be speaking German,  
>But then we gave you Hanson and Pee Wee Herman.<br>You gave us the Beatles, and you gave us the Who  
>We gave you Kris Kross and Vanilla Ice too.<br>You gave us "Chicken Run" and the Teletubies,  
>We gave you McDonald's and got you chubby.<br>You think we're all Trailer Trash obnoxious and noisy.  
>But that's just Springer, Ricki Lake, and Boise.<br>We're friendly and fake and proud of our nation,  
>Overweight, wasting gas, hedonic civilization.<br>We're sue-happy mad overworked compulsive winners,  
>Strong facade but insecure, just think Seymour Skinner.<br>We're obsessed with image, old age and fat,  
>Technology, death, and our dogs and cats,<br>The superbowl, shopping, S.U.V.'s and money,  
>Santa Claus, hygiene and the Easter Bunny.<br>But bigger is better and we love our T.V.  
>From L.A. to Boston, to Nashville, Tennessee.<br>And yes 1/4 of Americans own guns  
>In case you come back to punish your sons.<em>"

Almost everyone's jaw dropped at the overweight part, was he being serious? The next part showed that, yes, he was being serious.

"_But Mother Britain listen, there's still a tie that binds us,  
>The U.S. isn't perfect, you don't have to remind us<em>"

At this point England was so red, America thought he would explode… _'Oh gods, I hope he isn't mad..'_ America repeated the chorus.

"_I love England and visa versa,  
>American perspective in these Visa verses.<br>Tea time? Jolly good! Caffeine rush.  
>Look, a red a phone booth and a double-decker bus.<em>

I love you England, so let's both ignore  
>The Boston Tea Party, and that silly East Coast war.<br>Oxford, London, and Guildford too,  
>Rockin' your P.A.'s when I come to visit you.<p>

"

He finished with a quick kiss, but as soon as he pulled away England pulled him back. France started clapping; one by one they joined him. America was sure he heard Prussia yell "Pay up Francy-pants!", but he wasn't paying attention.

When they finally broke apart England said, "I'll have to get you back for this you know…" America just shrugged England could do whatever he wanted as long as he kissed him again, but that would wait for later, as Germany broke up the party and set them back on track.

And England true to his promise did get him back… in the form of a temporary tattoo of the union jack on his forehead.

All in all, life was good.

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><p><strong>SQUEEEE<strong>**! I don't own the song either, just so you know… **

**Review! Or don't. It's up to you…**


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